A State Government Employee sits in his office and out of boredom, decides to see what's in his old filing cabinet. He pokes through the contents and comes across an old brass lamp. "This will look nice on my mantelpiece," he decides and takes it home with him. While polishing the lamp, a genie appears and grants him three wishes. "I wish for an ice cold Coke right now!" He gets his Coke and drinks it. Now that he can think more clearly, he states his second wish. "I wish to be on an island filled with beautiful girls." Suddenly he is on an island with gorgeous women eyeing him. He tells the genie his third and last wish: "I wish I'd never have to work ever again."
POOF! He's back in his government office.
There was an old man named Bill, and one of the things he most enjoyed was playing golf with his old buddy Fred. Bill's wife always commented on how happy he looked after a game. But one day he came home from their weekly game looking terrible and very tired. His wife asked, "What's the matter, Bill? You always seem so happy after golf and you look miserable right now." Bill said, "Well, something terrible happened. Fred had a heart attack on the first hole." "My goodness, honey!" said the wife, rushing to comfort him. "That must have been terrible!" "It was," he said. "All day long it was: hit the ball, drag Fred to the ball, and then hit it again..."
A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder. If you don't follow my instructions carefully, your husband will surely die. Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all times. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him. Don't burden him with chores. Don't discuss your problems with him as it will only make his stress worse. Do not nag him. Most importantly, make love to him regularly. If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely." On the way home, the husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor say?" "He said you're going to die," she replied.
2 comments:
Great jokes this week! My favorite by far though was the stress disorder...I had to laugh out loud on that one. I emailed it to Eric too. :) I always loved the state worker one though. Thanks for the good laugh!
Very funny! Thanks for putting that state one in just for me!
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